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Disability Narratives

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Interview excerpt: Stella explains how her depression has affected her work and how that makes her feel guilty.

Image representing Stella© Disability Narratives

Because it does, it did affect my work. And I feel quite - I mean, again, that makes me feel guilty because - you know - I got picked to do this job. And I mean this “great” institution. Great, great in inverted commas [laugh]. But you know, I was rocking up at half past ten, and [I] can't, can't really focus on what I'm doing. And sometimes I excused myself, because I had to go and have a wee cry in the toilets. And you know, yeah. I mean, it does - it does affect your work day. It affects your work. And then your work in turn affects your mood. You know - you know - having a really bad day's work, you know, makes you feel rubbish. And I suppose sometimes it's just even the type of work you do, it can just make you feel - make you just not feel very - very good. And I just think how much time [laugh] - time and energy I wasted, just being really sad, and wanting to kind of just run away, just go any place - you know - other than here. You know, it's quite terrifying actually, how much time we waste.