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Disability Narratives

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Video clip: Lyn describes the effects of dyslexia on her confidence and how she sought to manage that.

I think within the university, it probably hasn't. And I was really pleased that my current role, I was promoted in my current role after I'd been assessed. I think it's - I think dyslexia has not held me back, except in that I've done things less, I've taken longer to do things. Which means that I've often needed longer to do jobs than other people. And that's often meant that I've worked longer hours, rather than feel I'm not achieving my tasks in time. So that has had a cost to me personally. I think I'd probably do that anyway, if I was - whether I was dyslexic or not. I don't think it's been a barrier. I think it's been an internal barrier to myself. And I sometimes feel - I think before I was assessed, I really thought I was stupid. Like I, I felt clumsy and inadequate in certain situations. And when stressed, I still feel that sometimes. It's not something that's a done deal. It's not like I'm completely over it, and it's all fine. I still struggle with my own self-expectations and things I struggle with, of course.

But - And it also makes sense of my lack of academic successes in the past to a certain extent. By which I mean I think all my teachers expected me to do far better than I ever did. And, and that disparity left me feeling unconfident. And I've only done things or chosen to do things that I'm good at. So I've always succeeded at what I've done, mainly by avoiding all the things I'm bad at. And I think coming into [department], where you need to have an attention to detail, has revealed some of those weaknesses in a way that's made me feel quite vulnerable. But also I think I'm doing a reasonable job with coping with that. And I, I don't feel constrained by it particularly any more. Just glad to have an understanding of why I am the way I am.